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Bowen Zhao

Karmic Connection

May 09

鼓舞

    昨天在电视上看到一位23岁的女孩,名叫廖智,一年前的512,瞬间,让作为母亲的她,失去了女儿;让作为舞蹈老师的她,失去了双腿。
 
    然而,有一样她没有失去——梦想。舞蹈是舞者的梦想。
 
    在截肢仅一个月后,她又登上了舞台,在一面大鼓上,用膝盖支起身体,舞出生命的意义。而当时那并不成功的截肢手术,使得断骨端部“尖锐”。医生要求她做修复性手术,被她拒绝了,因为怕耽误演出。无法想象,在她支撑在鼓上起舞时,如何忍受那锥心刺骨的疼痛。
 
    两个月后,她装上假肢,开始站立练习双人舞,并多次登台为灾区义演。她说她希望人们是因为喜欢她的舞蹈,而不是出于可怜她的残疾,才欣赏她的演出,所以,她表演前并不告诉观众。而观众除了偶尔感觉这个舞者动作略显僵硬外,其他竟也看不出什么。
 
    我不知道梦想有多重要,她告诉我没有梦想,她只会是行尸走肉。
    我不知道梦想有多荒唐,但如果没有双腿的人都可以成为舞者,还有什么是不可能的?
    我不知道梦想多有力量,但足够撑起她,走下去,舞出一个天地。
April 18

相见恨早?

有的人,会觉得相见恨晚;

有的人,会觉得相见恨早;

有的人,则根本不该相见。

 

还君明珠双垂泪,恨不相逢未嫁时,说的是相见恨晚吧。对的人,本就很难遇见,遇见了,时间又不对。只好做朋友,还好有个朋友做,只是做得很辛苦。

 

看了一个叫《相见恨早》的电影:他们初见时,他大学刚毕业,没有工作,谈情说爱还没在他的日程之内,先要实行一个“六年计划”,待事业有成,“颜如玉”也就自然有了。结果到第五年,他的事业已小有所成,他本想去找她,机票都买好了,还是没去,因为他们分在两个城市,事业让他很忙,无暇感情。于是又过了一年,他破产了,也有暇了,他终于放下面子,去找她,却发现她刚刚订婚。

 

到底是“早”还是“晚”呢?还是应该把握现在?

 

我说过我们本应十年后初见,也说过我们十年后不会再见。

January 25

You Are "You"

I thought I would not be able to love anyone,

Until I met you,

that day.

Lovely as an angel,

Holly as a princess.

Finally I regain the feeling of heart palpitating.

 

I thought it was just an impulse thus needless to be cared,

Until I met you,

one year later.

Pretty for sure,

Smart for more,

Sensitive for most.

Finally I was convinced that God is not fair.

 

You are gifted with all the merits,

Any of which is conspicuous,

Enough for a girl to admire,

Any of which is attractive,

Enough for a boy to be infatuated.

 

Nonetheless, you still lack the confidence,

As all the Pisces does;

And are still so confused,

As all men are suspicious.

 

I know no words can change this mind,

Then tell me what should I do.

Since I hope you know,

You are “you”.

March 26

池中物

    净口,修身,齐家,治国,平天下。毕业之后,以为第二步算暂告一段,到了可以考虑下一步的时候了,看来还不是。可能求之反而不得吧。终于相信许多事是冥冥中注定好的,那就顺其自然吧。

    日子过得波澜不惊,人就开始无病呻吟,顾影自怜。可笑。

    想象自己今后的十年,曾经书生意气,挥斥方遒;然后被世事所羁绊,限在一个框里,并渐渐适应;然后会放弃,从暂时到永远;然后会满足,从部分到完全;虽然间或也会发些牢骚,也就仅此而已,终会安于现状,继续幸福的小日子——有份体面的工作,有房有车有娇妻,夫复何求?

    这就是小人物的格局吧。

    前两天有传闻,上级领导要来检查工作,于是全处上下,诚惶诚恐,“如临大敌”,两位主任很早就站在了大厅,什么也不做,只是站着。一位同事叫我,“赶紧把桌子收拾收拾,哦,别紧张。”我听着好笑,本想回一句,“为什么要紧张啊?”,但我发现,他的手,真的在抖。领导最终没来。

    那是一位工作了十几年的老员工,每日勤勤恳恳,兢兢业业地做着自己那摊事,周而复始。跟他聊天,发现是个极聪明的人,也曾有过很多理想,后来结了婚,就啥也不敢想了。

    不过俞敏洪倒是自称其成功与老婆的鞭策很有关系。看来女人的力量是很神奇的。

    男人是否池中物,有时问女人才行。

March 21

Are You "You"?

I thought I was over you until that moment.

Is it fair that you have stolen my heart which you never care?

Without you, I will lose everything; with you, I will lose myself.

I swore to present you anything of this world, no matter what and where it was.

But I found my pledge did not mean anything to you afterwards.

I am not that brave, but can be, just for you.

I am not that noble, but can be, just for you.

I am not that mature, but can be, still for you.

I am vainglorious, just because of you.

I am ambitious, just because of you.

I am apathetic, still because of you.

Who is “you”? Somebody, nobody. Who knows?

Are you “you”?

December 30

与自己的对话

    近来,总是不断问自己:有什么意义?曾经是那么在乎过的,一切的一切,又有什么意义?终于发现自己不过是个凡夫俗子,终日碌碌,只因找不到不这样的理由。

    再过二十七个小时就又是一年了。想起小学时曾写过篇文章叫《2000年的今天》,具体内容早忘了,只记着那时觉得2000年还相当遥远,所以不用着急,等真到了,自己应该就快成为什么人物了(好像是科学家什么的)。

    现在的自己连梦都不做了,抑或是每天都生活在梦里,谁知道呢。

    “快醒来!”

    “为什么?谁在乎?”

    你告诉我:这对话还要持续到什么时候??

November 05

Karmic Connection

Finally, I perceived what is Karmic Connection, although it might be late. Desperately, I ever urged a reason that I can ascribe my failure to. Now I found.

But still, hardly can I distinguish the difference between persistence and stubbornness. Does stubborn mean over persistant? Then how to define “over”? I need you to tell me.

 
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